Queen of Procrastination.

Indeed I am! There has been so many things I've been meaning to do the past couple of weeks that I still have not & honestly I don't have a valid excuse for any of it. I seriously think I have a problem. :S

Well the past couple of weeks I have had next to nothing shift-wise so pretty much most of my time has been free & what did I do?! Spend hours sleeping, watching tv or on the computer which included minimum productivity. Gah! I continuously get angry with myself but still do little about it. Is it 'cause deep down inside I really DON'T want to do these things? Possibly.. Maybe.. Probably.. Grr..

Well don't want to go into any more detail 'cause yeah, i'm a lazy ass but here's a list of the more 'important' stuff I should be doing.

• FINALLY calling the driving instructor & setting up some lessons. Man i've put this off for waaayyy too long. ><"
• Picking up some of my past artworks from school. Need some of them for my portfolio, which brings me to my next point..
• Working more on my portfolio! Probably the most important thing on my list. Mid-year apps open on the 27th April. C'mon that's like pretty much a month away?! & I've only got one official piece to put in my portfolio so far. Ahh!
• Working on my commissioned artwork. Lol. Yeah a friend of mine actually thought I was worthy of creating an artwork for her. She full bought me canvases & paint to create her a masterpiece. Flattered I am indeed but yeah I told her it'll be a while.. Which was the truth. Hahh.
• Cleaning up more around the house! I'm THAT lazy. :S
• Accepting more shifts. Seriously i've been called in quite an amount of times to fill in but i've declined most. Usually I am actually out & cant come in but there have been times where I really just didn't feel like working & said I had something on that night, when I didn't. Eg: Today. HAHH!
• In reference to the above point, saving up! After my epic saving era before my holiday, I got lazy to save. Lol. Well actaully after spending all that money on my holiday, I realised the true joy of spending. I'm so lame. Well i'm starting again now & with the minimum shifts i'm getting, it's kind of hard to with all the weekly expenses to go with.

Uhh.. I think that's all for now. Wow. So bad.. Well if I don't do any of this soon, I'll probably blog about it if I did, someone please! Give me another wake up call & slap me in the face or something?! Haha. No, seriously. I really need to change. LOL @ change. Whatever.

- Jess. x

Deviation.

Finally submitted a 'deviation' on my DeviantArt account after sooooo long. Just looked back & my last post was like May of last year?! Oh my goodness.. Well did lose my 'creative passion' for a while but I guess the thought & will for me to actually start design school soon urged me to fuel that 'passion' again & work on my skills. Hahh! Sounds so 'inspirational-speech-cliche'. Oh my i'm using alot of '...' Ah well.. Anyways I'm quite happy with this piece & I haven't been happy with any of my work lately so it's a relief to all those who were concerned. Pffttt..

Ok may as well tell you about it while i'm here. This piece is titled Renaissance, not referring to the periodic era but to the true definition of the word. The word renaissance simply means rebirth, resurgence, reawakening! Whilst taking these photos I felt so at peace with myself.. That everything was okay. I found the world beautiful again. Lol. I'm so emo.. Ok sorry to kill the moment.. but yeah I just wanted to stand there & watch & possibly never leave.

My holiday up the coast & interstate really opened my eyes to new surroundings, new opportunities, growing up & coming to the realisation for the need to be more independent. Yeah just to fill in gaps, I went on holidays for the first time without my parents & yeah realized how much I relied on them. Hahh. Yes back to my independence speech.. I just recently turned 18 & i've yet to run a muck. I can admit I am most of the time, in many's eyes, a good kid. I don't take much shame in it, as it is indeed a good thing. Hahh. But yeah I realized I need to rely less on people & try to find stuff out on my own. Yay!

Anyways back to my piece.. Well that pretty much explains the representation of it & why it's so relevant to my life right now. It may look like just some pretty photos taken of the famed Kirra Beach by some wannabe photographer to most but it means so much more to me. It captured the pureness of what I was feeling at the time. It captured MY reawakening. :)

As I remember I actually didn't take these photos with the intent of being 'artistic' as I was just being touristy & taking as many photos as I could to keep as memories.. but when I looked back on them I was instantly reminded of what I felt standing there. It inspired me to be creative again.. I'm actually considering adding it to my portfolio for when I apply for college. Thoughts?

Thanks for listening kids. :)

- Jess. x

Confessions..

Ok so yeah watched Confessions of a Shopaholic today with the sister, her friend & her friend's sister. Was pretty funny. Not all stupid. Yeah i'm being very minimal adjective wise today. Hahh. Isla Fisher is so adorable! I wanna be her bestfriend & her dance moves are just killer! Lol. You have ot see for yourself. :) All in all, entertaining & i'd say yeah, go watch it. Hooray for my lame review! Now go! Watch! NAAAOOO! :P

Deteste!

How I get the urge to write some super awesome blog about my thoughts about my experiences the past couple of days & amaze you with my literary glory (SIF!) then go get something from my room or get sidetracked for just one tiny tad of a second & poof! The inspiration is gone! *Sigh. Ooh phone call. Brb. :)

♫ As we go on.. We remember.. All the times we've had together..

Yes, token graduation-we'll-be-friends-forever song. C'mon, this song has possibly been played at every graduation, farewell dinner or whatever since it came out. It was played at my Year 6 Farewell for goodness sake, along with my Year 10 formal, my Year 12 graduation AND formal. Haha. Ok to my point.. I know it's a real 'emotional' song & usually ends up with a couple of people in tears or people laughing at how lame it is, me being one of them. Lol. But thinking back this song really does have some kind of significance..

After graduation, of course you expect the changing of paths. You see people moving away, getting new jobs, new friends, new relationship & new lives. Me being a half-empty type at times i readied myself for these changes to avoid disappointment but i also felt like such a bad person for expecting the worse.

Now that most of my friends have started uni / tafe it has been extra hard to keep in contact with. It's either they have school this day & are free the next but then i have work or whatever that day.. or something like money shortage gets in the way. I see them every few weeks or so, even my best of friends & when we talk on the phone / msn / other social network, we're always like 'I miss you' & 'We have to hang soon'.. It saddens me. I sometimes have these short anger spurts at them or myself for having these schedules that also makes me feel so selfish after. I need to change!

I know that in some of these cases it has been my fault since school is school & cant be changed where i can take certain days of work since i'm only part time. I hate saying no to friends to go out just 'cause i have a shift i just accepted or i'm low on cash. I am now going to make more of an effort to see my mates to stop my anti-social insanity. Haha. Because honestly, I sincerely do miss all those times we've spent together.. I think about it alot.

I effing miss these girls so much! They were the reason i even went to school. :)

I miss my random hangouts with those girls that made everything better!

I miss when we were young & carefree!

I miss being able to tell absolutely everything to certain people.

I miss our attempts at the impossible. Well clearly impossible to us. Hahh!

I miss being absolutely loved. :)

I miss those crazy days.

I miss people being themselves. :P

I miss always having someone to lean on, in this case literally on Leesh. :P

I miss those kids i visited just 'cause i really liked hanging out with them. :)

I miss how we all came back together in the end & hung out just like the old days.. even with all the crap that happened before. :)

I miss our hardcore party season (LULZ!) *cough* & how we all let lose. :)

I just miss it all..

x

I've lost track..

There was sooooo much i wanted to write about in this blog but kept putting it off & now i've lost track of most of those things. Hahh. I wont say i'm gonna 'try' & write regularly anymore 'cause i'll just disappoint some, including myself.. ><" So i'll just say, please, follow & check every once in a while 'cause you'll never know when i'll have some sponatenous urge to write of the tales of my life.. or just rant for the sake of it.. Like now. I'm actually (semi) ranting about my lack of commitment to my blog. Haha. Sounds serious. Not really but hey. I suck at keeping to things so just take whatever's given because it indeed will be given rare.

/Rant.

:)

there are times in your life..

where most things seem to be going the right way.. i could right now.. ok train of thought gone.. friend started talking to me.. i use too many dots.. i'll edit this later.. BLAH.

growing up..

just over an hour till i turn the notorious 18 years of age.. hahh. i dno, i'm half excited, half not. i've previously blogged about yes, a quick recap. lol. i ain't big on the things you can do legally, so no big difference? hmm.. we'll see.. next time i blog i'll most likely be 18 already so i'll tell you what i think then. haha. wish me luck? pfffttttt..

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

YAY! MERRY CHRISTMAS everyone! wish everyone all the happiness in the world! have a good one! :D

& so the search begins!

yeah looking for jobs again.. going to every job search site possible. hahh. applied for about 5 jobs now.. well it is hard to find a job in sydney, preferably within the cbd, that is administrational (is that even a word? ><') & in a design / media / advertising company. lol. i'm very specific.. wish me luck. :D

ps: if you ever come across a job with a description close to that, please inform me right away. haha. ;)

*sigh..

i HATE being pushed & forced into sharing something i CLEARLY don't want to tell. when will they get it? there's a reason why i don't want to share it, yet they keep on going.. making me upset in the process. + continuously reminding me about it. i'm just sick of it. whatever..

you like to party! i like to party!

alrriigghhttt.. 3 parties in three weeks. lol. proper ones. not just ones you rock up to 'cause a friend or friend is chucking it & you're bored but hey.. hahh. i know i've always said i haven't been big on parties & drinking & stuff but the past 3 weeks or so have been awesome! :)

it all started with timmy ray's. gosh that was one hilarious party.. people getting wasted, acting out of their norm & things that i wasn't supposed to know about happening. good times, good times.. timmy ray you are one FUNNY drunk! :P but yeah it was the first post hsc party & it was REALLY good seeing the crew again. aww.. here's a summary of the shenanigans that went on..

the girls took the opportunity to take decent photos whilst still sober. HAHH!






then lia & some of the others began the drinking.. still pretty sober so took more 'decent' photos.. hey look it's zac efron! bahaha.




tired from work, i found leesh comfy.. :)






lia speeding up the party with some leg spreads.. LOL!






then some HOT HOT GIRL ON GIRL ACTION occured.. :D






the shots came rollin' along then.. uh-muhh anna. :P






lia being one of the first to lose it.. hahh!






me & leesh found this blue bean bag.. i DID NOT get drunk. :P






some drunken dancing & orgasms started.. LOL @ micheal!






& some homosexual activity.. XD







people not being able to feel their tongues, thus some tongue flashing..






& some passing out.. LOL @ pammie! :P






more 'not-so-decent' photo opps.. :)







& finally the girls taking the opportunity to take advantage of poor drunk timmy ray & putting make up on him. LOOOOOL!





awesome night.. awesome night indeed. :D


oh shoot. cbb finishing this right now but the party blog saga shall continue!
so yes..

TO BE CONTINUED..

hello again. :)

yes hello again blog that i haven't written in for say, half a year now. *sigh.. i think i shall start again. pffttt.. & maybe, actually regularly blog. hahh. it's worth a try. life now is gonna be one big adventure..

uh-huh.. got my hsc results + uai the past 2 days & it made me think about alot of things.. i need to take things more seriously. i'm actually gonna start my own life now. i am now responsible for making my own decisions & facing any consequences. i now, have to finally become an adult. LOL. i'm laughing at how bloody cheesy this sounds but yee i know it's true. pretty sure i'll get no university offers, passing on the college thing for now, so all that's left is tafe & employment. tafe is alright but the courses that i wanted to do are full for semester one so i guess it's semester 2 for me.. blah. & employment.. hmm.. i cant stay at woolworths for sure, so since i'm not gonna study straight away i might as well try & get into the industry early. yes! looking at some admin jobs in advertising / design / media companies. looked up afew & it actually excited me more than getting into the course i wanted. hahh. i shall apply for a bunch soon! so yes those are my options for now.. trying not to depress myself any longer. LOL. i burst into tears as soon as someone asked me about my uai @ work. weak! blah.. i'll get over it. it's just the aftershock.. i need a distraction. :)

anyways.. on a happier note. i turn 18 in 9 days! yee! i dno, i love my birthdays but still, the prospect of me turning 18, doesn't excite me as much as it does for others. i ain't big on drinking, i don't smoke & i'll not that excited to go to clubs, except for indie clubs! hehe. don't get me wrong, i'm not completely lame, HAHH! but i can have fun without those extremes. ask my friends, i act drunk either way. LOL. nah but i'm more excited about the things that's happening surrounding my actual birthday..

first, yes there's Christmas on the 25th! i always loved Christmas. i don't go hard out but i always seem to have the spirit. haha. & this year i'm more excited to give presents out than receive them. :) i bought my God parents these sweet hampers full of goodies & i bought my God daughter this really cute dora the explorer set that talks & everything. yay! hehe. i bought my sister her present yonks ago, a top she loved when we went shopping but she never bought 'cause the was limiting herself, so i went back & got it. aww.. pffttt.. & today i bought dad the new david beckham cologne. thought it smelt nice. :) taking mother shopping for hers 'cause she wants clothes but i dno what she wants & i want to get her something that she really wants & now just gotta get my sister, my brother & sister-in-law's presents & it's all gravy! do you feel the spirit now? do you?! :P *sigh.. i so broke now.. hahh!

ok back to my birthday.. on my actual birthday, 28th, the youth is taking me out for lunch after church! yay! i love my youth! i think they're the bunch of people that know me most. :) & then hopefully, family fun time for dinner. i'd rather do that first than party. oh i'm such a good girl. LOL. after that.. THEN the partying begins! :) got that whole week that includes nye! woop woop! yeah gonna hopefully do my first legal partying then.. & then (gosh so many then's) on that friday, 2nd, is my house party! YAY! i'm mad excited for this, mainly 'cause i invited all my good friends, including some i unfortunately haven't seen in a while. aww.. should be good. :)

oh shoot. think i've written enough + super tired. finished work at midnight & was late night shopping today. darn you Christmas rush. :( i'm off! stay tuned.. you never know when a new blog might pop up! like now! haha.

keep on truckin' guys.. keep on truckin'..

tired.

eh had work today. like pretty much nearly every saturday since april last year. blahh.. worked 3pm till 8pm. might not seem long but was some bloody hard work. not complaining or anything. hahh. i've rather come to enjoy work at times nowadays. anyways.. yes got put in the magical register 9 that can be switched to an express register with a click of a switch. lol. well spent my most of my time there but when the crowd died down i got asked to do stock. this involved me collecting all the returned 'unwanted' items & returning them to the rightful shelf. sounds fun aye? hahh. every now & then it would get busy so i would hear "jessica g. please return to your register." this happened say 3-4 times in my entire shift so you can imagine how bloodly tired my legs are. i was actually originally supposed to work four hours but since i'm stupid & thought it wouldn't be that busy i accepted to work a lil while longer. but now i'm tired & unenthused about doing the research i was planning to do for my extension english essay when i got home..

which brings me to school. hahh. smooth.. yes school. oh school oh school, how cruel you have been. actually no. i've just been wayyy too lazy. my last year of high school. approaching the end of term 2, meaning i pretty much have only one more term of high school left altogether. bloody freaks me out everytime. ok about this essay that's due this coming wednesday. i got it the usual 2weeks ago but only opted to start it now. hahh. wait, it get's worse. i actually haven't read the novel it's about, haven't read the notes either & i only have one related material when we're supposed to relate it to two. fun.. ah well i'll get it done. not to the best of my ability but hey i'll get it done.. gosh i am so gonna regret this later. i seriously need to shape up but i sometimes feel it's too late. anyways i also 2 more assessments this week. one for advanced english which is just some analysis about an extract from the tempest & yes now it get's bad again. i've only read half way through the temptest because i have rather come to deteste shakespeare. lol. the only work i've stuck with of his was the famed romeo & juliet, & a midsomer night's dream. oh yes another analysis of a text i have not read. super fun. ok on to my last assessment this week. it's a progress report on my visual arts major work. i guess i'm pretty confidant with this one. visual arts is like the only subject i enjoy nowadays. hahh. & the one subject i actually want to try in.

oh i know there are so many people that claim art to be a 'passion' of theirs but i guess i find it more as refuge. at times i find myself mindlessly drawing or thinking of ideas for artworks i want to create. as cliche as it sounds art had become a love of mine. not all art, as many state 'oh i'm into all kinds of art'. they're lying. they just want to be cool. lol. what appeal's to me is my own taste & will not say i like somethink just to look good infront of someone. breaking cliches has always been a hobby of mine. =) my major work does that exact thing. my concept is about peace. yes there's lots of that going around today i know. hahh. but yes mine looks at peace at a more personal level. my artwork represents where i have found peace in my life & my views of it in retrospect. i'm trying to steer away of the over use of it & the implication that peace cannot be achieved. there may be some truth to that, referring to the 'world peace' that beauty queens continually ask for but never do a bloody thing about it, LOL!, but i am one to protest about it ever being non-achievable. just look through your life & where have you found peace within your community, relationships, your faith & even yourself. ok not turning all hippy on you, just saying GIVE PEACE A CHANCE! haha.

oh wow. never realised how much i wrote. i think i should stop for now, although i have sooo much more to banter about but hey i'll leave that for another post as i have numerous things to do before i retire to my chamber. blahh.. anways till then take care, God bless & all that other shizz you say when you're going.. k'thanks. =]

underconstruction.

ok decided to create a blog as 'tis my last year of high school & would be a good thing to document my time leading up to graduation & the dreaded hsc. eeepp.. although i highly doubt my blog will be updated regularly, please be patient with me. =]



PS. comment box coming up soon. (Y)